ruminations on fandom

[quillpunk]

I've been thinking a bit about my relationship with fandom and how, for the most part, I don't thikn I actually have one.

Or, to put it better, I don't have one in the way most people mean. I've been around fandom for close to 10 years now (holy shit) and in that time I've seen a lot of big fandom spring up and just... take over. And always, without fail, even if I enjoyed the source material and was in that space, I disconnect entirely from that fandom.

When a fandom gets big, I get the fuck out.

I watched OFMD when it first came out and went right to the fics, I was beset by Genshim Impact on all my socials, I buried myself in MDZS fics when there was less than a thousand. I liked the source materials, I loved the fics, and then the fandoms hit critical mass and I just... stopped.

I stopped reading fics, in some instances stopped engaging with the source material. I stopped. It got big, I got out, and aside from reading some fics every once in a while, I still don't involve myself in any way in those spaces.

A lot of that lack of engagement is probably because I've never been very involved in fandom in the first place. I write fics and that's it. I don't even really talk about the fandoms I enjoy. For me, there's very little sense of community in fandom because I just don't engage with it in that way. Maybe I could if I tried but honestly I'd rather spend that energy on writing more fun fics.

But the whole 'fandom gets big and I get out' is interesting to me because by now it's an established pattern. It doesn't matter how much I like the show or anime or whatever it is. It doesn't matter how much I crave the fics and the god-tier tropes. It doesn't matter how invested I am in the characters or world. If it gets too big, I leave.

And it's not even a conscious decision. Honestly, I think it's a bit like sensory overload. Eventually there's just too much happening at once; too many fics popping up in a single day, too many conversations happening on social media, it's all just too much, and I react by shutting it all down and going away.

And to be fair, I don't much miss it when it's gone. In fact, it rather tends to be that I consumed so much of it so quickly that sometimes I instead get rather sick of it. There are multiple pairings I won't touch anymore that I really liked back in the day.

Anyway, I've just thinking about it.

Comments

[out_there]

Huh. I don't do that, but I do have a tendency of... hmmm. Limiting my interraction with huge fandoms. I talk to a group of fen on Discord -- we're all fannihs but there's only occasional overlap between our fandoms -- and look at fanart on tumblr and read fic on AO3, but I tend to sidestep getting too involved in any big, busy fannish spaces. I just don't have the time or the mental capacity to care too much about fans getting super excited or losing perspective.

But i also think if you enjoy the writing side of it -- and just occasionally reading -- that's fair enough. Enjoy fandom the way you like it.

[mistressofmuses]

I feel the same in a lot of ways. I LIKE fandom, and I find it important to me in a lot of ways. It's been a constant for me since high school (though with varying levels of engagement.) I write some fic and read fic when I have the time and energy.
But I've found much better experiences by seeking connections with fannish people, rather than people in a specific fandom. I have some long-term fandom friendships, but most of them have never shared the same fandom as me, or at least haven't in a very long time.

It makes sense that a popular fandom could hit a critical mass that turns it from "fun sandbox" to "overwhelming crowd."