ruminations on fandom

[quillpunk]

I've been thinking a bit about my relationship with fandom and how, for the most part, I don't thikn I actually have one.

Or, to put it better, I don't have one in the way most people mean. I've been around fandom for close to 10 years now (holy shit) and in that time I've seen a lot of big fandom spring up and just... take over. And always, without fail, even if I enjoyed the source material and was in that space, I disconnect entirely from that fandom.

When a fandom gets big, I get the fuck out.

I watched OFMD when it first came out and went right to the fics, I was beset by Genshim Impact on all my socials, I buried myself in MDZS fics when there was less than a thousand. I liked the source materials, I loved the fics, and then the fandoms hit critical mass and I just... stopped.

I stopped reading fics, in some instances stopped engaging with the source material. I stopped. It got big, I got out, and aside from reading some fics every once in a while, I still don't involve myself in any way in those spaces.

A lot of that lack of engagement is probably because I've never been very involved in fandom in the first place. I write fics and that's it. I don't even really talk about the fandoms I enjoy. For me, there's very little sense of community in fandom because I just don't engage with it in that way. Maybe I could if I tried but honestly I'd rather spend that energy on writing more fun fics.

But the whole 'fandom gets big and I get out' is interesting to me because by now it's an established pattern. It doesn't matter how much I like the show or anime or whatever it is. It doesn't matter how much I crave the fics and the god-tier tropes. It doesn't matter how invested I am in the characters or world. If it gets too big, I leave.

And it's not even a conscious decision. Honestly, I think it's a bit like sensory overload. Eventually there's just too much happening at once; too many fics popping up in a single day, too many conversations happening on social media, it's all just too much, and I react by shutting it all down and going away.

And to be fair, I don't much miss it when it's gone. In fact, it rather tends to be that I consumed so much of it so quickly that sometimes I instead get rather sick of it. There are multiple pairings I won't touch anymore that I really liked back in the day.

Anyway, I've just thinking about it.

Comments

[out_there]

I think people forget that not everyone participates the same way they do. It's just a human nature thing to occasionally forget other people are Not Like Me, especially when we share interests and values.

[quillpunk]

yeah, definitely.