Ren the Ghost

SquidgeWorld

Squidgeworld Archive (squidgestatus) is looking for volunteers! A treasurer, an abuse committee, and a Gundam Wing archivist is specifically requested, though I think they're always looking for more tag wranglers. (There's a backlog of like... 4k unwrangled tags right now, I think?)

CoHost

CoHost might be going bust.

Basically, CoHost is losing and always has lost a truly infuriating amount of money, and their only funding (aside from the user-funding like subscriptions etc.) has always come from their "rich friend". That friend is out of contact now, for whatever reason, and they are running out of money. They say the money will be gone by April. Which is, you know, soon.

Lori has written a very detailed blog post about CoHost's financials from start to finish of the company's existence, according to what has been shared in public, and I think it's worth a read. It's a very interesting breakdown, especially as while I do have one or two CoHost accounts (unclear) I've never actually used the site in any meaningful amount of time. However, I do remember seeing a financial update or two being published while I was sort of paying attention to CoHost, and I think it must be stressed that I never actually realized they were doing that badly.

Like, the communication from staff at CoHost has always been (in my experience, which is not much) cavalier, oversharing, and making light of things.

I also think, after reading Lori's post, that it's extremely clear the people running CoHost are not good at business. They plainly don't know what they're doing; their prioritizations are incredibly weird and harmful to the eventual goal of... like... not losing thousands of bucks every month. They showcase a consistent inability to manage what they and each other are doing so that things actually get done, including things that might make them money.

So like. Yikes, honestly.

Update: They have gotten in touch with their main funds rich friend.

Pillowfort

Back in December, Pillowfort held an End of Year Fundraiser to raise 25k USD. This was successful! It got them funding until July this year, upon which further donations and premium subscriptions has ensured Pillowfort's existence until August. Pillowfort's current monthly goal is 5k USD in income; every month that goal is met, one more month of life-expectancy is added to the tally. March is currently at 55%.

Duck Prints Press

Duck Prints Press is holding a Kickstarter for mythical creature pride enamel pins and stickers.

Laughs deliriously.

I am done with my fic for smallfandombang! It is complete; it could use some editing if I have time and energy for it, but it's entirely functional as it is (barring oh so many typos) which means I can officially stop worrying about it.

I have two more prompts claimed left for smallfandomfest, but one I've already given up on. That one feels like a 3-6k word fic, potentially, and I can't get that done in time, so hopefully I'll still be interested in writing that in the next round, but if not, it is what it is. The other one I could maybe squeeze out a short ficlet for, but I'm not holding my breath; I keep restarting it because it's not quite working as I want so. It's fiddly, LOL.

Anyway, this means my only big deadline for fanfiction left is candyheartsex. I'm catching up! XD Almost got it all under control now, LOL.

(smallfandombang is still looking for artists, by the way. If you're interested...)

Challenge #1: Fandom Information

TisStrangerEerierAndPreposterousUsername

smallfandomfest

tinyfandomflash

hoodwinked

candyheartsex is currently open for nominations, and I'm thinking of signing up to the ex.

The only exchange I've ever done is justmarriedexchange and honestly, I didn't muck like it. I think a lot of that was on me; I had expectations (not that I know what they all were...) and when they weren't met my mood soured fast on it. I didn't like the fic I wrote, I didn't have fun writing it, it was stressful and full of pressure and I think my recipient still hasn't read my fic, which honestly? Yeah, it kind of bums me out.

However. However one attempt is a pretty small sample size, and I'm thinking a quick ex like this, with a month long writing period, is a pretty good ex to dip my toes in again, adjust my expectations, absolutely not offer or request for the fandom I wrote in the Just Married ex (because that ways lies only bad associations), and go in with a 'devil may care' attitude.

I do wanna try again, because theoretically I still think exchanges might be fun and while the dates smash a little against smallfandomfest, this still seems like it'd work.

Like, when thinking of the Just Married ex I still feel sour about it all, but if the Candy Hearts one goes even mildly better that might even those feelings out a little? And I defaulted on that pinch hit I picked up for fffx and still haven't regretted it, so 1) that was probably the right call and 2) I think I'm at least a little more comfortable defaulting now, which is probably a good skill to have for exchanges.

If I sign up and don't have fun writing for it, I'm gonna try to convince myself to default instead of soldiering on, because fanfiction is my fun time and I want it to be fun and not super serious and like. Fun vibes, you know. I'm in the middle of trying to to adjust my whole attitude to fandom like that, hence making a new AO3 account not that long ago (I wanna write a post about that at some point).

So yeah. I might give this one a go.

Also I took a break writing this post and I'm returning with a random new fandom event idea: Dead Fandoms Fest or Dead Fandoms Casket ala (is 'ala' an actual word? I think it is but the spell checker disagrees with me which has made realize if it is a word I don't actually know what it means, I just assumed it's used like this from context learning, LOL) smallfandomfest fandomgiftbasket and the like, for fandoms with like... less than 10-50 new/updated fics [posted on AO3] in the last year (10 sounds very little and 50 like a lot, so maybe 25???).

Anyway, just thought that seemed like a fun concept XD

I dived into the tags on SqWA (I think that's the acronym) again recently, and now think I can articulate what it is about the archive that feels a little off to me.

There is not, to my experience, any readership on SqWA.

Naturally this isn't true to everyone, always. There are probably pockets of older users (as in, people that have used the site for a long time) active somewhere in there, and there are probably sporadic readers who pop in, read what they want, and pop out again waiting for new stories. The speed in which stories gets posted to the archive is 100% slow enough that that's achievable without being overwhelming.

But I can't see them. I can not, in fact, spot anyone. But that in itself isn't actually the main thing. It's kind of lonely, but it's not alienating.

But the new users (I know I'm pretty new myself; I certainly don't have a lot of legs to stand on here. But I am Trying™) who are cross-posting all their stuff from AO3 due to dissatisfaction aren't in turn actually reading anything on the site, and that is actually kind of alienating to me. It's a backup archive for them, and to be clear that is a fine and good thing to have. AO3 is not immune to bugs in servers just because they own the servers.

But it honestly feels kind of weird for me, as a reader, to browse through the archive. It doesn't feel like the authors using it are actually there; to put it another way, if I left a comment, would they even notice? Same for kudos.

I've gathered some stuff in my Marked For Later list and I do want to comment on them when I have the spoons, but I'm genuinely not sure it'd be welcomed. Like, comments are on, so they should be, right? But it doesn't feel it. It feels like I'd be imposing and wrestling myself into a space that I'm not welcome in.

Like, part of the appeal of SqWA for me as a reader (I'm a writer as well but honestly that's irrelevent to my current musings) is that I find stories on there I would never have known existed on AO3, simply due to the sheer volume of fics on AO3. It's actually feasible to just browse through all the works and go "interesting" a lot. That's fun! It's cool to spot fandoms I'm not even aware of, and see works I never would have been able to dig my way through on AO3.

But it does also feel a bit weird to read there. I guess another way to put it is; it doesn't feel as if the authors invite readers. (Again, obviously this isn't true for every author, or every work, or every... you get the idea) It's kind of hard to articulate, but it's overwhelmingly my impression that authors cross-posting their stuff from AO3 are using it in a very cold manner, a sort of "don't speak to me, don't look at that, I'm not here, this isn't for you" kind of thing. And I don't know where that comes from, but it makes me feel weird to read and try to engage with their stuff on SqWA.

Actually, I think I just hit the nail on the head; it feels like it's not for me. Like there's an invisible boundary going up and I'm not supposed to look at it.

And I think, after grumbling about it a little in my head, I might mainly be getting this impression from author's who do not say anything when they're very obviously cross-posting stuff from AO3. Like, a fic tossed up with a quick note "first posted on ao3" doesn't give me that impression; it doesn't feel closed off and remote. But a fic with absolutely no notes, where the author profile says they're cross-posting, or where it's empty but they've got a ton of fics posted very quickly, and they have no bookmarks or anything to indicate they're actually there... that does feel like a divide. A boundary. A sign saying "this is not for you, you don't get to enjoy it, go away".

And that's very odd, and sort of off-putting, to me.

Hi! (waves)

Generel likes

• Domestic fluff!
  • I'm a sucker for soft moments of devotion, those kind of unspoken ways the characters can convey how good they actually know each other and how comfortable they are in their relationship.
• Fantasy/Sci-Fi elements and settings! (that said, i'm also perfectly happy with canon or other AUs!)
  • I adore SFF and good worldbuilding, and hoenstly there should be more SFF AUs. Steampunk, gaslamp fantasy, space operas etc are much loved :)
    • Alien/Human!
    • Monster Romance!
• i'm always down for some crack treated seriously!
  • like seriously, i always am.
• Accidental relationships!
  • Nobody knows when they started dating, but they're in it now and they're not letting go!
• Fake relationhips turning real!
  • Fluff! Angst! That moment when they realize they're in love!
• Found Family!
• Misunderstandings!
  • 1 person thought it was a marriage proposal, and the other didn't? Oh, you can get so much good angst and catharsis out of that.
• Mutual manipulation!
  • They're both aware they're manipulating each other but it's kind of hot?

General dislikes

• forgiveness without accountability
• misunderstandings that don't get solved

Do Not Want

• loss of limbs
• eye-trauma
• bittersweet/tragic/melancholy/sad/bad ending
• infidelity
• teeth loss
• betrayal of trust
• i can be down for gender changes if both people in the pairing have changed genders, but not if only 1 of them did

I've been thinking a bit about my relationship with fandom and how, for the most part, I don't thikn I actually have one.

Or, to put it better, I don't have one in the way most people mean. I've been around fandom for close to 10 years now (holy shit) and in that time I've seen a lot of big fandom spring up and just... take over. And always, without fail, even if I enjoyed the source material and was in that space, I disconnect entirely from that fandom.

When a fandom gets big, I get the fuck out.

I watched OFMD when it first came out and went right to the fics, I was beset by Genshim Impact on all my socials, I buried myself in MDZS fics when there was less than a thousand. I liked the source materials, I loved the fics, and then the fandoms hit critical mass and I just... stopped.

I stopped reading fics, in some instances stopped engaging with the source material. I stopped. It got big, I got out, and aside from reading some fics every once in a while, I still don't involve myself in any way in those spaces.

A lot of that lack of engagement is probably because I've never been very involved in fandom in the first place. I write fics and that's it. I don't even really talk about the fandoms I enjoy. For me, there's very little sense of community in fandom because I just don't engage with it in that way. Maybe I could if I tried but honestly I'd rather spend that energy on writing more fun fics.

But the whole 'fandom gets big and I get out' is interesting to me because by now it's an established pattern. It doesn't matter how much I like the show or anime or whatever it is. It doesn't matter how much I crave the fics and the god-tier tropes. It doesn't matter how invested I am in the characters or world. If it gets too big, I leave.

And it's not even a conscious decision. Honestly, I think it's a bit like sensory overload. Eventually there's just too much happening at once; too many fics popping up in a single day, too many conversations happening on social media, it's all just too much, and I react by shutting it all down and going away.

And to be fair, I don't much miss it when it's gone. In fact, it rather tends to be that I consumed so much of it so quickly that sometimes I instead get rather sick of it. There are multiple pairings I won't touch anymore that I really liked back in the day.

Anyway, I've just thinking about it.