ruminations on fandom

[quillpunk]

I've been thinking a bit about my relationship with fandom and how, for the most part, I don't thikn I actually have one.

Or, to put it better, I don't have one in the way most people mean. I've been around fandom for close to 10 years now (holy shit) and in that time I've seen a lot of big fandom spring up and just... take over. And always, without fail, even if I enjoyed the source material and was in that space, I disconnect entirely from that fandom.

When a fandom gets big, I get the fuck out.

I watched OFMD when it first came out and went right to the fics, I was beset by Genshim Impact on all my socials, I buried myself in MDZS fics when there was less than a thousand. I liked the source materials, I loved the fics, and then the fandoms hit critical mass and I just... stopped.

I stopped reading fics, in some instances stopped engaging with the source material. I stopped. It got big, I got out, and aside from reading some fics every once in a while, I still don't involve myself in any way in those spaces.

A lot of that lack of engagement is probably because I've never been very involved in fandom in the first place. I write fics and that's it. I don't even really talk about the fandoms I enjoy. For me, there's very little sense of community in fandom because I just don't engage with it in that way. Maybe I could if I tried but honestly I'd rather spend that energy on writing more fun fics.

But the whole 'fandom gets big and I get out' is interesting to me because by now it's an established pattern. It doesn't matter how much I like the show or anime or whatever it is. It doesn't matter how much I crave the fics and the god-tier tropes. It doesn't matter how invested I am in the characters or world. If it gets too big, I leave.

And it's not even a conscious decision. Honestly, I think it's a bit like sensory overload. Eventually there's just too much happening at once; too many fics popping up in a single day, too many conversations happening on social media, it's all just too much, and I react by shutting it all down and going away.

And to be fair, I don't much miss it when it's gone. In fact, it rather tends to be that I consumed so much of it so quickly that sometimes I instead get rather sick of it. There are multiple pairings I won't touch anymore that I really liked back in the day.

Anyway, I've just thinking about it.

Comments

[quillpunk]

Yeah, seeking connection with people in specific fandoms don't ever really work out for me long-term because my interest and investment inevitably fades. Like, I'm in awe of people that can maintain that kind of interest for years, but I'm not one of them.

And it's definitely an "overwhelming crowd" situation, I think. it sucks the fun out of it, and I generally retreat until things calm down. Which takes years. It does kind of feel like I "miss out" on things sometimes, but I also can't help it. It's all just too much.

[mistressofmuses]

Same here. Either those fandom friends move on to fandoms I don't care about, or I lose interest in the fandom we met through. I've found a lot more long-term connection by finding people who have a similar view toward fandom as a whole - who like fannish things, and maybe write fic or make art, and share broader priorities and principles about fandom - as opposed to "we write the same ship and obsess over the same canon." Broader fandom participation tends to be a more long-term thing, where current faves come and go.

I can understand that. I mostly noped out of reading fic in the Good Omens fandom when it reached a certain critical mass. I've loved the book for decades, loved the first season of the show, really enjoyed a lot of meta and fic and such... and eventually it just felt overwhelming. (And that wasn't even as a writer!)