existence

[quillpunk]

My 10k ghost romance Attic fic for tinyfandomflash is now up on AO3 :D And it's the 17th, so today my fic for smallfandombang also went up on AO3. It's a 10k Classroom of the Elite (anime/light novels) fic, a sort of slice-of-life romance character study kind of thing. I'm not really sure, LOL. It's accompanied by absolutely lovely art by valiantbarnes <333

I've posted reading roundups for Jan to Mar over on booknook (Jan | Feb | Mar). So far I've read like 35 books this years, which is wild; I read like 44 books in total last year.

This is solely because the reading challenge I'm doing on a discord server has a leaderboard, and I just wanna climb the ranks, LOL. I'm in the top ten so far this month! :DDD

I've also been frantically math'ing, trying to figure out if I can commit to fandom5k now that the dates have been revealed. I keep going back and forth, LOL; I wanna, but *can* I? ...I think it'll depend a lot on if I can finish a few commitments before sign-ups close.

The conclusion seems to be that it's okay to talk about what I'm doing for unconventionalcourtship (not that I'm doing anything *yet* LOL) so yeah, I wanna write an Attic fic for that! Still haven't totally clicked with a blurb though :(

space_swap has revealed. I defaulted, and I assume I was defaulted upon in turn, as I did not get a fic. That's fine. I don't regret defaulting, so it was probably the right call.

Lastly, a third-party is apparently doing some data scraping bullshit on Discord.

Comments

[mistressofmuses]

35 books is wild! I'm limping along on book #4, heh. Congrats!

[quillpunk]

It is so wild, I am utterly flummoxed, lol. Good luck with your read! <3

[sweetsorcery]

Would you be willing to give me hint about the Attic fic? Because I've been holding of on reading it, due to the character death part, but if there's any kind of "happy ending" for them, in terms of them being together somewhere, somehow, at the end, I'd hate to pass up 10k words of Stanley/Derek! (Be as spoilerish as you like, I want spoilers. I like them a lot more than surprises, honestly.)

And I'm very sorely tempted by unconventionalcourtship too, I really am.

[quillpunk]

I certainly will! :D

Derek's death takes place prior to the start of the fic, and is not ever (to my recollection) referenced in any detail at all. It is not a great source of angst, I don't think (although there is definitely some, but it's mostly on Derek's part and this is entirely in Forbes' POV, so he's like, 'oh no i made Derek sad I need to atone for my great offense); the fic is not really about how 'it's so sad he's dead' but rather 'Forbes is apparently the kind of guy who'll fall in love with a ghost and it's not even the ghost part that bothers him, it's just that he has no idea what he's doing, lol'

Ghost!Derek has enough corporeality to touch, and yet I did not manage to make them kiss :(

It does have a happy ending! To me, at least! :D The ending is Forbes deciding that yes actually if Derek doesn't mind, he'd love to stick around and stay at the manor with Derek, and Derek is like 'I would love that if you offered' and Forbes is like 'I'm definitely offering let me stick around look how good my baking is getting' (the last part is an exaggeration, lol) but I do think the ending is the softest part of the fic?

the angst is Forbes going like 'Derek deserves so much better than being stuck in the house he died :(' and then going 'I'll spend all my money making it nicer for him' and then at some point going 'oh my god i have Feelings' and 'oh no i don't know how to confess my feelings, i am a Coward and a Disgrace and Derek Deserves So Much Better' and then his feelings overwhelm him and he confesses (read: asks to be allowed to stay) anyway :DDD

i mean it's probably angstier than the tone i'm presenting it in right now, but it's not *sad* and the thing keeping them apart is not Derek being dead, it's Forbes not knowing how to confess to someone, lol.

the fic ends on this (i can't believe i didn't manage to make them kiss, don't worry Forbes i am the True Coward here, lmao)

He wished to have it all. Wished to give it all. “I’m offering,” he repeated, raspier still. “However you will have me, I would give you.”

“A dangerous promise,” Derek remarked softly, squeezing Forbes’ hand. He rested his head on Forbes’ leg, curled over it, and Forbes bit his lip once more, that ache spilling over his edges. He gently, so slowly that Derek could not miss his intentions, rested his hand on Derek’s head. Felt the strands of hairs between his fingers. Swept a thumb over Derek’s forehead. Derek’s eyelashes fluttered, and it was all Forbes could do to stay as he was. “You don’t know how much I’ll take, if you freely offer.”

“I would wish you to take it all,” rasped Forbes. He swept his hand through Derek’s hair. Derek stared up at him with such openness Forbes could do nothing but reply in kind. “Whatever you want, I want you to have.”

Derek shut his eyes. Forbes waited, content to look at him, to feel him, to touch him. He was a coward, he thought. But Derek deserved better.

And so Forbes would do better.

“I’m offering,” he murmured again, a hoarse promise.

“I am selfish,” Derek said what must be minutes later. He raised his head a little, pulled on the hand still holding Forbes’ and pulled Forbes’ hand to his mouth. Pressed a soft, gentle kiss to his knuckles, gazing up at Forbes with such heat that Forbes could not speak. “I am selfish, and I will gladly take all of you.”

That, Forbes thought, was an entirely desirable outcome.

if you have any more questions/if there's something my answer did not provide let me know! :DDD

[sweetsorcery]

Oh, thank you, that was very full and detailed.
I will definitely be reading it now. :D

[quillpunk]

Glad it helped! :D