blegh

Yeah, so that didn't pan out.

Part of my problem is that if I have a thing I need to do, then I can't do anything else until that thing is done, but I can't do the thing because of [lack of spoons, executive dysfunction, just plain old forgot, lost track of time, etc.] and right now that thing is schoolwork. There is so much to read.

And then on top of that I feel guilty when I'm not doing the things that Need To Be Done™ and then I don't do anything else, like writing. (Like, if I couldn't do the thing that Needed Doing but I can do something else, then I've like... lied? It feels like that, even though I know it's not the same.)

And then that's another day I've done nothing, ugh.

But! I did write 31k words in October! Which is more than September! I might still be able to hit my 500k getyourwordsout pledge. Next year I'm doing a 1 mil pledge though; I'm cutting it way too close and this isn't fun anymore, now I'm just anxious :( Like, if I don't manage it at this point I'm just going to be sad, and I'd rather have a goal I was never going to get anywhere near in the first place, thanks. (Which is what this goal was supposed to be.)

Speaking of ridiculous goals, there's a writefest on 4thewords right now, and one of the special quests is to write 250k words in 44 days. ...I'm going for it. Will I succeed? I don't care, LOL. That's like 40k words a week; failure is guaranteed, but damn, hopefully it's gonna be fun XD

I could use some fun <3